Justice League-a very spoilery review

A long overdue movie review. It’s of Justice League. Spoilers galore so stop reading if you plan on watching it.

What a fun mess of a movie. I’m still trying to figure out how I could have enjoyed a movie that was so wild and bizarre. Multiple origin stories that basically say, “Here’s your hero!”. Check. A nonsensical story line about ‘mother boxes’ that somehow unite and destroy all life. Or maybe the Earth. I can’t remember. Anyway, it’s probably not important but check. Russian family in danger. I thought we weren’t supposed to like the Ruskies? I guess they’re ok when an alien is threatening to destroy the world. On we go with Greek gods fighting super-powered aliens. Check. Some stupid sounding, stupid looking villain with an even stupider name. Steppenwolf in this case. And yes fanboys, I know he’s an old DC villain, but c’mon, Steppenwolf? The wolf of the steppes? Whatever.

Anyway, the story starts with Steppenwolf (stupid, stupid name) arriving on Earth, beating down the Amazon nation and making off with the Mother Box. Next, Bruce Wayne is putting together a team. He meets the Flash and Aquaman and their origin story. Apparently Barry was struck by lightning and chemicals while Aquaman . . . not sure how Aquaman came to be, but it sure is cool when he walks right into a tidal wave without any sense of fear. Not as cool when he gets his butt handed to him by yon Steppenwolf. The wolf of the steppes.

Later on, Bats and the team learn from Wonder Woman—she joins them, too—about  Steppenwolf, and Shazam! (whoops, that’s a different hero and he wasn’t in this movie). Anyway, the Justice League forms. They pick up Cyborg. Another brief origin story and a father doing anything to save his son. I think. Or maybe the father was the reason his son became Cyborg. Whatever.

The League forms and realizes they can’t defeat the wolf of the steppes. Not without Superman! So they revive him. The most obvious ‘secret’ in the movie. Yes sirree, they do that and Superman promptly wipes the floor with the entire League. He’s about to crack Batman like a Liberty Bell, but thankfully, Lois shows up. For some reason, Superman becomes evil whenever Lois dies. She must be some form of morality kryptonite in human form. It makes more sense than anything else since she’s pretty pointless otherwise.

More mayhem ensues and ta dah! Bats and Supes are friends. Whew. What a whirlwind of a movie.

BTW if there are lots of typos, that’s my normal writing style, and I was too lazy to edit.